Today, I'm cooed up at home. Doing household chores & reading a love novel.

For the past few days, I was thinking back whether should I go back to secondary school during teacher's day celebration tomorrow. If I go back, I would likely to encounter some of my classmates from my class, additional to those who retain a year and know me. When some of the guys or girls saw me, they will give me a bad face, unpleasant comments or covering one hand in another person's ear and whisper in front of me. When they do this to me, it makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. But that does not mean that I detest them. Personally, I do not want and do not like to be enemies with anyone. Cos if I do that, I'm actually torturing myself. Fortunately, my mum have a good suggestion for me. So I decided not to go back during teacher's day but on other days where there's not likely to have ex-students. After my mum's suggestion, I actually felt so relieved.

Now that my holiday continues, I'll have more time to blog now. I stayed at home today to do a bit of household chores. It does seem like I'm obedient. But something happened that brainwash my mind. (I dunno how to say it) It's not really abt being obedient the word itself. I just feel that I really have to do it on my own as my parents will not forever be at my side to do the chores for me.

Whenever I had troubles, I simply hoped that I could have someone who will always be at my side to listen to my sorrows. I know that when I said this sentence, I sounded very naive. I did have people who would try to find time to listen to me. But I still have to stop those negative thoughts inside my mind. Maybe I do worry too much. After all the things that happened, I bear in mind to be more cautious and well-prepared in the future.

Though I really hate those horrible things happening to me, but do I have a choice?

Finished my exams. Now is my 7 weeks of holidays cos i could not go for 3 weeks of attachment.(which is obvious) Before going for hospital attachment, our clinical lecturer did told us that working at hospital is tiring. The long hours, constant walking and standing during work. For the 8 hrs, there is only 1hr of break! After prolonged time, it will result in tired body & painful legs!!

At first, I thought that after working for the first day of clinical, they would be so tired until no mood to go online on msn. And yet some of them still have the energy to go online. So in conclusion, perhaps working at hospital isn't as tiring as I thought it will be. Maybe I'm wrong cos I haven work at hospital yet so I couldn't understand the hardships my classmates had gone through. One of my classmates told me that first day of work is quite relaxing, but after some time, the task may become more harder.

I actually hope that if I could turn back time, I'll work hard to pass my clinical attachment so that I can work at the hospital for 3 weeks like all my other classmates. Instead of 7 weeks holiday, I'll prefer 4 weeks of holiday. It feels weird to be at home because all my classmates are are working in the hospital except me.

When I'm at home, I have to face my younger sis blubbering and tantrums. Moreover, my mum isn't well and needs to go for operation. After the operation, mum's condition needs time to recuperate. So I'll have to take responsibility for my family's household. And this includes taking care of my younger sis. I seriously hated this job cos my younger sis not easy to please and I had no choice. I do it for the sake of getting pocket money, for my mum's sake and also to learn something so that hopefully I will be able to do it in the future without being too depandant on my mum.

For this semester, I passed my bio. Our group have bucked up!! We scored B for Family And Community Health presentation. Better than 2 other grp who scored C+ and C. For the other two presentations, we still haven know our grade yet. But I still hope that we will score well. Only my practical test sucks and I dun want to talk abt it. I've been trying hard to get over the pain for the past few weeks and now I got over it.

Our semester has come to an end. So the next two weeks will be four major tests and after that I will go for three weeks of clinical attachment.

I really hope that these could end fast so that I'm able to breathe better.